Storming the Brain

No, I won't fix your computer

A balanced diet is a cookies in each hand. (we could make it burgers!)
Lost in thought (Please send rescue party.) (hahahahahahaha)

Lord, keep your arm around my shoulder … and your hand over my mouth.
Programmed to accept cookies.

If I'm talking you should be taking notes.
Books – the original laptop.

What part of quantum theory don't you understand?
A team effort is a lot of people doing what I say.

I'm only wearing black until they make something darker. (hahahahahah)
Mom likes me best. (i'd want this shirt!!)

Age and treachery will triumph over youth and skill.

Dangerously overeducated.
I do know all the answers but I've been sworn to secrecy.

I'm in the prime of my strife.
Eat well; stay fit; die anyway.
Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
So much to do and so many other things to distract me.
18, 263 days old. But who's counting?
It's not rocket surgery.
Sharp as a marble.

Always be nice to the lunch lady.
Yes, I know I need a haircut.
I don't skinny dip. I chunky dunk.

By reading this, you have given me brief control over your mind.
Manure occureth.

Just be happy I'm not a twin.
And thou shalt have dominion over the animals – except, of course, the cats.

I wandered off from the tour.

I drive way too fast to worry about my cholesterol.

Dain bramaged

I've stopped listening. Why haven't you stopped talking?
If you're too open minded your brain will fall out.
Don't worry about what people think; they don't do it very often.

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
Et tu dufus?

It's not hard to meet expenses. They're everywhere.
What if the Hokey-Pokey really is what it's all about?
I'm confused. Wait…maybe I'm not.

My life is an endless battle against maturity.

Instant human – Just add coffee.
It IS as bad as you think and they ARE out to get you.

Needs supervision.

I'm not bossy. I just know what should be done.
Keep staring at me. I might do a trick.
I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
When all else fails, manipulate the data.

Top 10 reasons to procrastinate:
1.
I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame you.
HERE I AM. Now what are your other two wishes?
National Sarcasm Society: Like we need your support.
Some days you're the bug. Other days you're the windshield.

With opportunity & planning I'll retire at 149.

Have you seen my marbles?
You're not the boss of me. My cat is.

The pigeons are watching me…
DO NOT DISTURB Already quite disturbed.
You're funny. But looks aren't everything
There are 10 types of people in the world: Those who understand binary, and those who don't...
I Do All My Own Stunts
Department of Redundancy Department

YOUR Dum
I AM the evil twin.
Don't make me mad. I'm running out of places to hide the bodies

You looked better on MySpace.
Not the brightest crayon in the box now, are we?
Well, this day WAS a total waste of make-up.

Allow me to introduce myselves.

With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine.

HELP WANTED: Telepath - You know where to apply.
The best defense against logic is ignorance.

We make the easy impossible.

I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.
I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.

It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.

I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.
You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

I started out with nothing and still have most of it left.

I had amnesia once -- or twice.

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long.
Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.
One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.

I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

How can there be self-help "groups"?
If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?

cofee.exe is missing. insert cup and press any key.

One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.

i intend to live forever. so far, so good.

i'm on a 30day diet. so far, i've lost 15 days.

Déjà Vu - God thought it was so funny he had to rewind it for his friends.

Cows come and go, but bull lasts forever.

Save the Earth. It's the only planet with chocolate.

I'm objective. I object to everything.

I'm open to suggestions. just not taking any.

(picture of three penguins) One by one, the penguins steal my sanity. (or every other animal e.g. squirrels)

Gone crazy. Back soon.

All humans suffer from identity crisis at some point in their lives. Makes me glad I'm a rabbit.

Amnesia used to be my favorite word, until i forgot it.